rating: +4+x



Item #: RPC-1488-J

Object Class: Beta-Male

Containment Protocols: RPC-1488-J is to be contained in the basement of its parents' residence. It is to be given access to the internet, as well as various far-right news stations. Laundry is to be conducted by five members of the Mobile Strike Team Charlie-88, "Biohazard Busters." No nonwhite personnel are to be allowed near RC-1488-J. No further containment is required.

Description: RPC-1488-J is a 32-year-old, 136.1kg Caucasian male. It possesses anomalously low IQ and testosterone levels, though it claims the contrary to be true. RPC-1488-J suffers from diabetes, and is known to have sexual fetishes considered abhorrent, including, but not limited to, Gerontophilia, Coulrophilia, Podaphilia, Zoophilia, Necrophilia, Necrozoophilia, Transgender Fetishism (commonly referred to as "Trap Fetish,") and Vorarephilia. RPC-1488-J identifies as purely Nordic, and is aligned with the fringe movement known as the "Alternative Right." Its primary anomalous effect is that it cannot be argued with, though some researchers believe this is due to its ignorance and substandard intelligence.

When a nonwhite individual with a higher IQ than RPC-1488-J is within 10m of it, it will enter an active rage state, in which it will ejaculate racial slurs and false statistics. When accused of racism, RPC-1488-J will enter a similar rage state in order to rebut the claim.

Addendum: Interviews with RPC-1488-J

Interviewer: Dr. Malik Norrington

Interviewed: RPC-1488-J

<Begin Log>

Norrington: Uh, hello?

RPC-1488-J: Who is it?

Norrington: I'm Dr. Malik Norr-

RPC-1488-J turns around.

RPC-1488-J: What the fuck? They sent a [EXPLITIVE REDACTED] in here? You fucking cuck; I'll slice your dick off!

Norrington: I'm gonna have to cut you off-

RPC-1488-J: Shut up, [EXPLITIVE REDACTED]! Did you know that, although they make up 13% of the American population, [EXPLITIVE REDACTED] like you commit 99% of crime? And 100% of all prison inmates-

Norrington: I'm just gonna leave…

RPC-1488-J: You better run, you fucking libtard!

<End Log>

Notes: Containment protocols were revised so to prevent nonwhite personnel from working with RPC-1488-J.

Interviewer: Dr. Jean-Baptiste Pierrot

Interviewed: RPC-1488-J

<Begin Log>

Pierrot: Good afternoon.

RPC-1488-J: Who are you?

Pierrot: My name is Dr. Jean-Baptiste Pierrot from the-

RPC-1488-J: French, right?

Pierrot: Actually, I was born in Louisi-

RPC-1488-J: Did you know that 79% of France are reptiles?

Pierrot: Wait, what the fu-

RPC-1488-J: I went to Paris once. I didn't see anyone eating French fries or wearing French braids. It's really sad how the culture of France has diminished due to the reptiles.

Pierrot: I don't think that's-

RPC-1488-J: The rate of rape, heavy rape, and assault rape in France have gone up by 200% since the reptiles took over the country. Believe me, I read it on ██████.

Dr. Pierrot slowly walks out of the room as RPC-1488-J is talking.

<End Log>

Notes: Jeez; this guy's a fucking idiot. -Dr. Jean-Baptiste Pierrot

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