rating: +3+x

Photograph of RPC-069

Item #: RPC-069-J

Object Class: Gummo

Containment Protocols: RPC-069-J is to be kept in Containment Cell 69 of Site 69. Any and all interaction with RPC-069-J is to be pre-approved by Dr. . RPC-069-J is to be allowed two (2) hours in it's recording booth per day. Staff are to wear protective earphones at all times while RPC-069-J is in it's recording booth. In the case that RPC-069-J pops a nigga like a wheelie, MSF Squad 69 (Codename "Gusher Crushers") is to be deployed immediately to contain RPC-069-J. Permission to kill on sight is granted in order to prevent a "Kooda" Class Doomsday Scenario. RPC-069-J is not to be permitted contact with them Billy niggas, them Hoover niggas, or the GoI known as "Scum Gang." In the case that RPC-069-J robs a nigga shit or takes a nigga bitch, Class A EGs are permitted to be used. RPC-069-J is to be allowed up to four (4) Xanex a day.

Description: RPC-069-J is a one point seven (1.7) meter tall humanoid. RPC-069-J has brightly colored "Rainbow" hair as well as the numbers "6" and "9" etched all along it's body in various ways. RPC-069-J is known to be iffy with the blicky and the stiffy, known as RPC-069-J-1. RPC-069-J-1 has a drum magazine that holds fifty (50) rounds. RPC-069-J has the anomalous ability to produce blickys of various types at will. The "teeth" of RPC-069-J appear to be made of different colored Gushers. RPC-069-J has shown the ability to both eat and re-grow these "teeth" at will.

RPC-069-J was found in , Brooklyn on //20. The Authority obtained the anomaly from the GoI Scum Gang forcibly. Prior to Authority interference, the group was using RPC-069-J's anomalous ability to make money with little effort to their own benefits. The extent of this ability is not fully understood, however RPC-069-J has been shown to be able to make $56,000,000 from a song produced in 2 hours by RPC-069-J and 2 D Class.


"This thing could be a huge benefit to Authority Funding. All we have to do is record it yelling over a beat, and we could make millions! I've sent in a formal request to the Global Directors, but I haven't gotten word back yet." - Dr. .

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