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Item #: RPC-836

Object Class: Gamma

Containment Procedures: Due to the seemingly random and unpredictable appearances of RPC-836, permanent containment is currently unfeasible. Instead, Authority personnel involved in Countermeasure “Call-In” are to be instructed to monitor all paid programming appearing on cable television channels for signs of anomalous objects being sold. Should an instance of RPC-836 be located on any channel, the Authority may utilize assets within the Federal Communications Commissions to facilitate interference with all satellite television networks. When the signal is jammed, it will be replaced with one of several public domain programs.

Should anyone not involved with the Authority make a call on-air to the instance, the Authority is to immediately interrupt the purchase. If the item must be retrieved directly from the buyer, Class-A amnesiacs are to be provided following the acquisition.

Anyone partaking in an example demonstration of an object advertised by an instance of RPC-836 is to immediately be questioned regarding their appearance in the advertisement.

Description: RPC-836 is the designation for a series of anomalous advertisements, manifesting as a standard ‘Paid Programming’ style program. These advertisements vary in length from two to thirty minutes and can appear on any channel accessible to a standard television set with connection to a cable network. The source of these advertisements have been untraceable so far, and no mention of the host network or channel has been recorded during an instance of RPC-836. The only connection between the advertisements is the phone number viewers are instructed to call in order to purchase an item.

An instance of RPC-836 will typically override the program scheduled to run at the time, normally a non-anomalous sponsored program, but has been seen to override other types of television programs such as cartoons, news programs, and in one case the first segment of a feature-length film. Cable networks questioned by the Authority have reported no interference from the network aspect, adding to the belief that an outside network is hijacking the airwaves where instances of RPC-836 appear.

Advertisements classified as RPC-836 instances tend to follow the standard format of a paid programming advertisement, involving the host of the program, usually a television salesperson or celebrity, attempting to sell the viewers a product. The salespeople used in instances of RPC-836 tend to be well-known sales agents, and their current condition or location seem to have no effect on if they can appear in instances of RPC-836. Any notable individuals appearing in an instance of RPC-836 have no recollection of participating in the advertisement, nor any knowledge of the items they attempted to sell.

All products sold during instances of RPC-836 have been shown to be anomalous in nature, particularly in aspects that improve the item’s basic functions. Anomalous items advertised by RPC-836 tend to be Alpha-class anomalies, but there have been instances where what would normally be classified as Beta-class are advertised through RPC-836. The possibility of unidentified anomalies sold through RPC-836 instances have been explored by the Authority, and agents are advised to constantly monitor where instances of these products have been delivered to ensure that any purchases made are safely recovered and cataloged. Authority staff in charge of monitoring RPC-836 instances are permitted to use the Authority’s funds to purchase the anomalous products sold by the instance for testing purposes.

As the public are also able to view these advertisements, it is possible for a subject to call into the program to request the product. Each instance of RPC-836 has a phone number which a subject can call to purchase the item on display. During these calls, the host will often talk and banter with the subject while constantly boasting about the effectiveness of the product and eventually informing the caller that the product is on the way to their location. By tracing back calls made to RPC-836 instances, agents have discovered that exactly twenty-four hours after placing the call, a package will appear next to the front door of the buyer with no return address containing the anomalous item of purchase. There has been no recorded instance of the package being delivered by any sort of postal service.

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