rating: +11+x

Pictured, RPC-909-3 (Left) RPC-909-6 (Right)

Item #: RPC-909

Object Class: Alpha

Containment Protocols: RPC-909 is to be stored within a standard medium item containment locker, measuring at least 1m by 1m by 1m. The containment cell is to be electronically locked when RPC-909 is not in use for testing. The object is currently housed at Site 4, Section-18, Hall-9, Locker-14K.

Description: RPC-909 is a wooden pallet crate containing twenty-four (24) glass bottles of soft drinks. The crate measures 50cm by 25cm by 30cm. The object's side's are formed of cedar, fastened with lox screws. A wooden lid fits into grooves formed by the top of the crate. The crate's exterior is covered with a faded coat of bright blue paint. On each side of the crate there is a large dark red logo stating "Amazing! Co. SODA Get Refresh!". RPC-909 was discovered inside Site 47's maintenance office at 06:03 on █/█/2017. The object was found on maintenance manager ██ ███'s desk. Stapled to the crate was a handwritten note on cloth.

Inserted inside RPC-909 are four cardboard carry cases, each containing six bottles of soft drinks. All of the cases are in fair condition. Each bottle of soft drinks are henceforth known as RPC-909-1 through 24. The front and back of the cardboard carry cases are each inscribed with the following:

Are you inadequate?! Do you strive to get life expectations? Satisfy your overhead? Provide for your home? Try Amazing! Co.'s Brand New Soda line! Soda! Improvement will be promised! Never be a faliure again! Try all our NEW Featured, and be SATISFY

The sides of each case are inscribed with the following:

Nutrition Facts
Serving Size : 13.5oz (400ml)
One serving in each
Amount Per Serving: Calories: 500
0% of your Vitamins!
Great ingredients! Pure Organic Water for Delivery! Agave Nectar for Taste! Citrus and Color for Effectiveness! Carbonation to spice up your life!

Each of the four cardboard carry cases contains two bottles of each "New Flavor." Both "Fantastic Fanta" are on one side of the case, "Bombastic Blueberry" are in the middle, and "Rock N' Roll Rootbeer" are on the opposite side.

Each bottle is 25cm tall, has a 6.7cm diameter at the base and a 2.5cm diameter at the top, which fits 400ml of liquid. Each bottle is made of transparent, green tinted glass. The bottom of each bottle is formed by a concave punt, extending 3.5cm into the bottle.

Thus far, 7 bottles of RPC-909-1 through 24 have been tested. When empty bottles of RPC-909-1 through 24 are placed inside RPC-909, with or without the cap, the bottles will be refilled and re-capped with the appropriate liquid inside. RPC-909 bottles use 21-tooth crown top bottle caps. The method of recapping is unknown. If a bottle is placed in the crate without the cap, a new cap will materialize to seal the bottle.

Each flavor has been tested in various amounts on multiple subjects. Each subject was made to preform standardised physical and creative tasks before testing began.

Each "Fantastic Fanta" RPC-909-1,2,7,8,13,14,19 and 20 bottle features a wrapped paper logo with the writing "SODA!, BY AMAZING CO. For that fantastic feelings!" in bright orange. "Fantastic Fanta" is bright orange in color. Subjects report that it tasted of "Sweet oranges."

Testing of "Fantastic Fanta" took place begining at 14:30, █/█/2017. Testing with RPC-909-1, and 7 "Fantastic Fanta" has revealed the following effects on five separate D-Class personnel:

First Hour after any amount of "Fantastic Fanta" consumed: Increased beta brainwaves, serotonin production, and epinephrine secretion. Subjects report heightened senses, feeling unable to sit still, and an increased drive to accomplish goals. When told to complete various physical and creative writing tasks all subjects comply.

Second Hour: Body temperature increased by approx. 3 degrees Centigrade, agitation, dilated pupils, and tremors were observed. All subjects report feeling "Fantastic", and refuse to evaluate further. Subjects continuously state "I feel fantastic" when probed for answers. Subjects continue to complete tasks with an increased rate of efficiency.

Third Hour: Diarrhea and profuse sweating occured. At this point subjects begin to appear panicked, some began shouting "I feel fantastic" continuously. Performance on standardised tasks continued to increase at an approximate 150% over the total testing period.

Fourth Hour: Body temperature continues to rise to an average of 42 degrees Centigrade, and subjects begin to experience seizures. Each "Fantastic Fanta" seizure begins as a complex partial seizure, and progresses to a generalized convulsive seizure. The first round of seizures generally lasted for five minutes, followed by a three-minute break in which each subject laid still while drooling. No subject responded to attempted communication in this time. Following this three minute pause, a prolonged seizure began. This seizure ended with the concurrent death of the subject. Death is determined to be caused by lack of oxygen, partially resulting from aspiration of liquids during the seizure.

Each "Bombastic Blueberry" RPC-909-3,4,9,10,15,16,21 and 22 bottle features wrapped paper logo stating "SODA!, BY AMAZING CO. Need to light up your life!?" written in bright blue. "Bombastic Blueberry" is dark blue in color. Subjects report it tastes "Nothing like fucking blueberries." and "Tastes more like how gasoline smells."

Testing of "Bombastic Blueberry" took place begining at 12:10, █/█/2018. Testing with RPC-909-3, and 9 of "Bombastic Blueberry" on seven D-Class personnel has revealed the following effects:

First Hour after any amount of "Bombastic Blueberry" consumed: Subjects claim to experience increased visual sensitivity. Subjects also report headaches. Subjects increase preformance on sensory tasks.

Second Hour: Subjects report increased pain from headaches and complain of nausea. Subjects show increased irritability and drowsiness. Subjects show improved scores on standardised physical and sensory acuity testing. CT scans taken during this period show physical signs of hydrocephalus.

Third Hour: Subjects report difficulty focusing, and are recorded to have sudden falls and difficulty walking during tests. Most subjects stated the following, or similar statements "It feels like the worst headache of my life."

Fourth hour: Subjects experience short term memory loss and are unable to complete performance tests. Some D-Class experience generalized seizures. Level of consciousness continuously drops close to the end of the fourth hour. Bradycardia and hypertension developed.

Fifth hour: Subjects' level of consciousness continues to drop alongside heart rate until ventricular rhythms and asystole develop. Autopsies revealed intracranial herniation to be the cause of death.

Testing of RPC-909-14 for explosive effects revealed the following:

When any amount of RPC-909-14 "Bombastic Blueberry" is exposed to temperatures of equal to or over 54 Centigrade, the liquid combusts into a large amount of flying sparks. The sparks are not of a high enough temperature to ignite surrounding materials. RPC-909-14 was "refilled" for further explosive testing. When the sealed bottle was exposed to an ambient temperature of 54C, it became filled with bright shower of white sparks. The bottle remained undamaged as the contents were consumed over the next 4 minutes.

Each "Rock N' Roll Rootbeer" RPC-909-5,6,11,12,17,18,23 and 24 bottle is wrapped in a paper logo, stating "SODA!, BY AMAZING CO. It will rock your life!" Written in black. "Rock N' Roll Rootbeer" is pitch black in color. Subjects reported it tasted of "The best damn root beer I've ever had."

Testing of "Rock N' Roll Rootbeer" took place begining at 09:25, █/█/2018. Testing with RPC-909-5, and 11 "Rock N' Roll Rootbeer" has revealed the following effects:

First Hour after any amount of "Rock N' Roll Rootbeer" consumed: Subjects reported feeling "upbeat." All subjects began to tap their feet and hum various rhythms. No improvement in standardised performance tests is noted.

Second Hour: Subjects begin to sing various songs around the start of the second hour, increasing in volume slowly. Subjects do not experience an increase in singing talent or quality. Breathing rate of subjects increased as expected. No improvement in standardised performance tests are noted.

Third Hour: Subjects continued to continuously sing. Hoarseness of the voice is detected in all subjects. Subjects showed signs of shortness of breath and began to cough up bloody sputum. Some subjects lost consciousness during the third hour for short periods of time. Subjects refused to communicate with researchers and continue to sing. All subjects in the third hour refused to preform standardized performance tests. Subjects preformed standardized performance testing under duress by guard personnel, and all scores showed a marked decline.

Fourth hour: Subjects continued to sing through with increasing amounts of blood exiting their mouths. Breathing rate increased rapidly at this point. Subjects began to expired with a long lasting [REDACTED]. Autopsies determined the cause of death to be exsanguination due to tracheal tear.

After the discovery of the object, each personnel that was currently or who had previously worked at Site 47 during the previous 6 months had all communication devices screened. No contact with the GOI Amazing! Co. was detected. Review of security tapes outside of Site 47 revealed no containment breaches. It is believed that the object is not capable of teleportation, but was instead somehow transported inside the site by Amazing! Co. personnel.

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