RPC-FOX-J

21

cv0U7gb.png
Mb67nAy.jpg

Photograph of RPC-FOX-J Manifesting

Registered Phenomena Code: FOX-J

Object Class: SS FUCKING BROKEN

Hazard Types:

Containment Protocols: Dr. Leffen is not to be allowed to pick RPC-FOX-J during any Staff Tournaments using the Site 13 Lounge Gamecube RPC-FOX-J is never allowed to be picked in Staff Tournaments by ANYONE as of 7/16/2018. Anyone who picks RPC-FOX-J will be BANNED from using the Site 13 Gamecube in the Lounge PERMANENTLY.

Description: RPC-FOX-J is a fucking stupid broken character in Super Smash Bros. Melee. RPC-FOX-J manifests when Dr. Leffen ANYONE BUT ME plays Super Smash Bros. Melee and selects the character "Fox" in the select screen. After this event occurs, the in-game character will transform into the most overpowered unbeatable bullshit, taking on anomalous effects in-game. Its anomalous properties include:

  • Ridiculous Speed
  • Overpowered Offense
  • Uncounterable Playstyle
  • Fucking Bullshit Shine Ability
  • Dumbass Wavedashing

(It should be noted that whenever I select Fox, none of these abilities are present)

"Dude, ████ ███ █████ ██ █████ ██████ ███ ███████████? █ ████, ████ ███ ██████. ███ █████ ██████ ██ █████?" - Dr. Leffen.

"Dr. Nair, please refrain from blacking out entire notes in the future. If you have a problem with what's being said, take it up through the proper channels. Your current behavior is not helpful to anyone." - The Board

UnnaturalWellmadeAxisdeer-small.gif

An example of RPC-FOX-J's Anomalous Shine Effect that can BLOCK ANYTHING

By far, RPC-FOX-J's worst anomalous property is its "Shine" Ability. Not only can it block pretty much everything in the universe, it also REFLECTS some attacks as well. RPC-FOX-J's Shine Ability has been shown to be able to block and/or reflect the following abilities:

  • Dr. Mario's Megavitamin
  • Falco/Fox's Blaster
  • Pretty much Ice Climber's whole kit
  • Mario and Luigi's Fireball
  • Pichu and Pikachu's thunder moves
  • Mewtwo's entire kit
  • Link's entire kit
  • Ness's entire kit
  • BOWSER'S FUCKING FIRE BREATH

"Are you going to let me give you some advice, or are you just going to black pen me again?" - Dr. Leffen.

"Fuck you." - Dr. Nair.

-2w-NF.gif

RPC-FOX-J's stupid wavedash.

RPC-FOX-J's second most broken anomalous property is its inherent ability to wavedash. By using this stupid ass move, RPC-FOX-J can combo pretty much any ability together infinitely and there's just nothing I can do about it.

RPC-FOX-J also has an anomalous property of making whoever is playing it to act differently. Commonly, users of RPC-FOX-J can be quoting saying things such as "You just gotta tech it" "Try shielding more" or "Dude just get good" AND THEN JUST REPEATING IT OVER AND OVER FUCK YOU I AM SHIELDING IT JUST GOES RIGHT THROUGH

"Bro you need to calm down." - D-1738

"Why is a D-Class allowed to be making notes???" Dr. Nair

"You're the one who insisted we bring him to the lounge to "experiment" on "RPC-FOX-J" as you keep calling it." - Dr. Leffen.

"Leffen shut the fuck up holy shit you're not good play anyone else but Fox you little bitch I will 3 stock you" - Dr. Nair

"Alright." - Dr. Leffen.

"Did you seriously just submit a request to make ME an RPC? Holy shit being better than you at Smash is not an "Anomalous Property" what is wrong with you" - Dr. Leffen.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP I WILL HAVE YOUR D-CLASS FRIEND USED TO EXPERIMENT EVERY NEW RPC WE FIND I'M GOING TO HAVE YOUR ASS CONTAINED IN A STEEL COFFIN BY AN MSF SQUAD"

"Due to multiple reports of internal issues arising after the addition of the Lounge's Gaming Console, we are hereby removing it as well as the TV. You will find numerous magazines and other reading material in their place, should any problems or false RPC arise due to those, we will remove them as well. The Lounge is a privilege, we are not required to make sure you are entertained on your break, nor are we going to babysit you." - The Board

"Thanks, Nair." - Dr. Leffen.

"Fuck you RPC-FOX-1." - Dr. Nair.

Addendum:
I fucking hate Fox so much.

« RPC-9001-J | RPC-FOX-J | RPC-MOTH-J »

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License